Tuesday, May 29, 2012

HOT Horsey Hundred 2012 Recap

I have been doing a lot of cycling now that tri season is in full swing.  Before I get to the official recap of the HH, I wanted to add a few other tidbits of things that went on last week:

First double stroller run of the summer!  Holy cow, that was hard!  The stroller weighs around 98lbs now!  Sheesh!  I ran the same route that I did the previous week with just Soren as a near perfect tempo run.  Well, not today.  I was just happy to get the miles done! 

Next, I received my profile designs saddle mount rear water bottle  holder arrived, and I tried to install it on my bike.  It didn't fit.  It interfered with my aero box.  I personally love my aero box, so removing it and going to a seat bag is not really an option.  Especially since I can return the water bottle holder since I got it from REI.  I will just need to pay better attention to routes to make sure that I refill my bottles before they are empty.  I will also need to get a little better grabbing a water bottle in a race for Muncie, but for the rest of my riding needs, I am probably still OK without it.

Now, onto the Horsey Hundred.  We were super excited that Valerie and Kent came down to join us for this ride.  Ryan and Kent were doing the 102 route, and Valerie and I were doing the 76 mile route.  I had never ridden this far before, so I was a little nervous about it.  It was also really really hot.  When we left our house to drive to Georgetown, it already felt warm at 6am.  It isn't a race, so time wasn't really a concern, and there were also several rest stops to refuel with fluids and food. 

The four of us stayed together for a little bit, until the first group passed us.  Ryan made a comment about how he doesn't get passed, so Valerie and I let the guys go, and that was the last we saw of them until the end.  We had a good ride.  We stopped at all but one of the rest stops to get more water.  It was so hot!  They had these awesome cookies at the rest stops too.  I NEED the recipe.  I sent out an email, but I don't know if I will get any response.  At the first stop, I tried a bite, and then had a half.  Then, the next stop, I had a 1/4 cookie, but then went back and got another half, and then another half.  So, at the next stop I just took a whole cookie.  I only used a couple of my gu packets.  Last year, I had intended on doing this ride to get my race day nutrition down, and ended up eating a ton of PB&J sandwiches instead.  This time around, I decided to see how FEW gu packets I could use and just rely on the sag food.  Ryan thought I was nuts, but I didn't want to use GU that I didn't have to (and I will get to more on this later).  We didn't break any speed records today, because it was hilly, but Valerie and I stayed together for the whole 76.7 miles, and we finished in a time of 4:40:17, not including rest stops.  It was just over a 16mph average, and considering the hills, I was pleased with it.  Valerie dropped a chain once and I started an uphill from a complete stop in my small ring in the back which didn't work at all, but except for those items, we had no issues on the ride, aside from it being hot.  I felt like a good deal of our route was shaded, but we did have a section over new blacktop that was just so hot, I just felt like I was being cooked.  I even ran into the guy, Garrett that I met at the IAMTRI ride that led me to my car.  He passed me like I was going backwards, but then I "attacked" and caught up to chat with him.  He was probably relieved that Valerie missed a turn for our route (there were several distances), and I had to wait up for her so that he could get back to his regular pace. 

We finished up and got our post race lunch, which was awesome.  They had BBQ burgers, chicken, and pork.  Last year when my dad and I finished, they were still roasting the whole pigs, but they were done with those by the time we got done this year.  And then Valerie took a shower and I ran a mile back looking for the guys while we waited.  I felt like we waited forever, but most of the folks just finishing were still doing the shorter routes.  Then I saw some guys that looked like they did the century.  I was telling Ryan about "the look" that the 102 guys had.  They were lean, had the fancy bikes, wheels, and kits and such.  Like Ryan, essentially.  Garrett is pretty speedy, and I actually started to worry about Ryan when he finished before Ryan.  Ryan and I had separated a lot earlier, so Garrett made up a lot of ground.  Ryan did remember being  passed by him because he has a very distince m-dot on a fleur de lis tattoo on his calf, which is how I rememberd him from IAMTRI in the first place. I thought about trying to track him down to see if he had seen our guys, but then figured that would make me an official stalker.  As it turned out, Kent didn't tolerate the heat nearly as well as Ryan, and right after I made a call to Valerie, I saw Ryan finish up. They had found a couple of other wolverines, and Kent needed to rest a bit more at one of the rest stops.  Kent finished the ride, and was able to enjoy his lunch.  It was still so hot, and I just wanted a shower at this point.  I was ready to head home.  I was bummed Valerie and Kent had to head back so soon, though. 

It was a great ride, and I think I have decided to try the 100mi route of the upcoming MMM ride in a week and a half.  Ryan has his concerns.  He did this route last year and said it was the hardest thing he has ever done.  I have found one of his female friends to ride with, so he feels a little better about that.  I know Valerie will have others to ride with too.  I just feel like this is as good of an opportunity to attempt a century ride as any.  I am building my mileage really nicely, and don't want to waste this opportunity.  Even though I feel behind on my cycling, I feel like I want to try this.  Since I am not upping my distance in any of my tris or running races, this is a good opportunity to do something new and that scares me.  It also gives me a "check in the box" for Ryan's unwritten list of things I need to do before I can be allowed to do an full Ironman.  "Do a Century Ride".

Also, back to the GU issue.  I got busted yesterday when ordering GU.  Ryan freaked out with the amount I used and wanted to purchase from the REI memorial day sale.  I am really glad I rationed it for Saturday's ride.  I also ran yesterday in the super hotness.  It was in the 80s at 8:30am.  Ugh.  It was good practice for Muncie.

Today is an unplanned rest day.  I am actually excited about it.  I need it.  I took Sunday off as usual, but with yesterday's run in the hot followed by the day of yardwork, I was excited when I woke up to thunder.  I was curious how long it would last, and it is now noon, and it has been thundering off and on all morning, which means the pool is closed.  Soren also has a low fever, which means he couldn't go to the daycare anyway.  It will be nice to be lazy at home today, but I will hit it hard again tomorrow.

Finally, for those of you wondering, I did manage to stick to the sheet changing schedule I set up last week.  I am not so good at washing and putting away the sheets, but since we have several sets it hasn't been an issue of not being able to put clean ones on, just having sheets piled up in the laundry room.  With all of our houseguests this weekend, there are even more than usual.  The bummer about this change is that it has not helped with my conjestion issues I have been having lately.  I switched from claritin to zyrtec, and it still has not helped much.  I may need to go see an alergist and possibly wash my hair before I go to bed every night to get any alergens out of it.  I am looking foward to my events in MI that maybe my head will clear up a bit with the change in venue.

Tuesday, May 22, 2012

Differences between men and women

It took me a while to think of a good title.  I have been whining a lot, so I thought about trying to incorporate that into the title, but I worried that everyone was sick of my whining, and wouldn't want to read it.  At any rate, last week seemed so emotional for me, yet not at all for Ryan.  And really, everything that needed to get done got done, so looking back, I don't know why I was so upset, but I was.  Pretty much that is how Ryan and I are different that way, I guess.

So this is what went down.  Thursday was a big day, and it was supposed to be even bigger.  Keira had her first FIELD DAY!  Whoo Hoo!  I had worked around the volunteer process to be able to attend.  They did not want parents to just be hanging out watching field day, but instead, signed up to work at a set station.  Well, this just didn't sound fun to most of the kindergarted moms, so we arranged to volunteer for her teacher, and help ferry the kids from station to station.  I got there early, to help bring the kids out, which was a good call, because they sent moms that didn't arrive with the class to the gym to be redistributed.  Anyway, it was chilly, so I had my Boston jacket on, and Keira had her Ironman shirt on, so pretty much no one messed with me.  In fact, between when Keira left our house and field day started, she came down with pink eye!  Oh no!  I asked if I needed to take her home before field day, and she burst into tears.  We ended up letting her stay and play. 

I did have to pick her up shortly after, though.  I squeezed in a quick swim, and then I had just gotten off the freeway to go to the grocery store and I got the call.  Thankfully, I was able to get her in to see the dr right away, and started her on drops so she could go back to school the next day.  Unfortunately, I could not have anyone watch her that evening so that I could ride.  I rode on the trainer, and then colored my hair.  I didn't really blow it out afterwards, so I wasn't really sure of the color when I went to bed.

Well, Friday morning started off being emotional.  It was Keira's last day as a kindergartener!  I was able to go into school to attend her class party, which was fun.  She is so excited about being a first grader!  They had a derby themed party, and she enjoyed it.  I can't believe she got that old!

Also, I was able to assess my hair color.  I think I went too conservative on the color.  While I don't dislike it, I don't love it, and this time around, it didn't even do the trick of coloring the gray!  I had wanted to go a bit lighter, with it being summer, and I just didn't get the gray coverage I wanted.  Also, it is pretty much the same color all over, almost lighter at the roots and darker at the ends, which looks weird to me, but it is really just because the color is so flat.  Will I get it fixed?  Probably not, because I am sure the chlorine will do a number on it in due time, but I will not get that color again.  It seemed like a waste of time that I could have been on the trainer more or sleeping more.  Then, right before Keira comes home, I get the email that I was waitlisted for Team Aquaphor.  I was a bit confused by this.  Usually they renew everyone from the previous year if you did all your requirements, so I was really confused.  I spent way too much time on f/b trying to figure out who all was on and who wasn't, and we couldn't come up with anything.  Signed contracts are due on the 25th, with the wait-listed people being notified on the 30th.  I doubt I will get picked.  There are a lot of people that seem more qualified to me that didn't get picked ahead of me.  Cristina got picked, but Barry, a man who had been with Aquaphor for several years did not.  It is really confusing.  I know that there are not a lot of benefits to being on an Active.com team, because you don't get a lot from them, it is still really fun to be part of their team.  It is what you make it.  Thankfully, I am still part of the f/b group that was formed last year, so I still have those connections I made.  It still hurt to be rejected, though.

Ryan and I had discussed our ride plans, and I had the afternoon shift for Saturday.  I had a training class and a birthday party to take the kids to in the morning, and would ride then, with this same friend who has been cancelling on me.  I had been looking forward to this ride all week, because I wanted to get out and get in some miles, as well as figure out a route.  Well, jokingly, I told Ryan that my Saturday plans were to be stood up, and then sure enough, I got a call Friday night that I was on my own for a 50-60mile ride, because this person was going to ride with someone else on Sunday, and I can't ride on Sundays.  I have made all of my new friends here aware of that.  I pretty much had an anxiety attack.  It was like the world was ending.  I felt so rejected!  I didn't want to go to my training class with the kids in the morning, because it was going to be awful having them there, but I didn't want Ryan to skip his ride to watch them, because then I couldn't ride in the afternoon if he did.  I was super overwhelmed with how busy the day would be- training, birthday party, and then ride.  Would I have the energy to ride after this?  Would I get lost?  Would I be able to get anything out of my training with the kids there?  I felt like garbage, but got online, and mapped out a route.  I wasn't really sure how long it was, and figured I would just do multiple loops of 2 areas until I got to 50 or so.

The training class was terribly boring, and overwhelming in its own sense.  I didn't let that bother me, though.  The kids were loud at the beginning, but one of the other husbands came to watch his kids and mine in the gym after about the first hour, and then Ryan finished his ride a lot earlier than I expected (because he started at the crack of dawn!), and was able to get the kids and take them to the birthday party for me.  The training class ended a little early, so I wasn't that late to go to the birthday party with the kids.  It was a pool party, so Ryan stayed and swam with Soren.  It was fun, and things were going pretty well.  It wasn't nearly as bad as I thought it would be.   

I got home and ready for my ride, and it went as planned for about the first 15 miles, until I missed a turn, and ended up heading downtown instead of back towards my house.  Not a big deal, since I knew I needed extra miles, and this was a nice section of flat road.  It was busy, but I wasn't the only bike out there, so I didn't feel terrible for being out there taking up space on the road.  I stopped at the gas station at the intersection where my friends from MI stay when they come here to train to turn around.  In hindsight, I should have refilled my bottles here, at mile 18ish.  I only have room on my frame for one bottle plus my aero drink, and it was hot.  I turned around, and got back to where I should have turned, and continued as planned.  I rode another section of familiar road, and planned to link it back  (instead of riding out and back, like I usually do because I am unadventurous), making a figure eight with my loops, but was riding along, and ran out of water, around mile 40.  Ugh.  I was on a major road, but there were no businesses!  Ack!  I kept hoping for a gas station, and there were none to be found!  I saw a small general store, but it was closed!  Panic started to set in.  I finally found a gas station at mile 45.  I wasn't sure if I had missed my turn either, because it felt like I had been riding for a long time, but since it was an intersection I had already been through today, just from the other direction, I thought I should recognize it.  I was so hot and thirsty, though, that I had no idea anymore.  I considered calling Ryan, but I still had miles I wanted to do, and so I just figured that I would ask at the gas station if I had passed it or not, and then if I got to 60 miles and wasn't home, I would just call Ryan and have him get me.  No shame in that, right?  Well, the guys at the gas station told me that I DID pass my turn, so I rode back the way I came looking for it.  I felt a ton better now that I had refilled my bottles and had a gu.  I kept looking and looking for the turn, and couldn't find it!  I finally came back to the road where I turned onto this street, and figured I would just suck it up and go home that way.  I knew it went to home.  I also knew it went up this huge hill that goes on forever.  Those of you familiar with the IMKY course ride this hill on 1694.  The route I had planned took me from 329 to 42, on 1694, and I wanted to take 42 back to 329, like a triangle, but instead, had to just turn around and go back up.  It think it is a lot easier going from 329 to 42 than it is the other way, and I had hoped to take 42 to 329 to come back home.  At any rate, I got to that intersection with 50 miles, and knew I was less than 10 miles home.  Whew.  I knew I could do this, and I knew it would be ugly.  Tht was not the ideal way to finish the ride, but I would get stronger for it.  Right?  In my head I just kept letting my anger at being out here on my own fuel me to get up those hills.  I had to granny gear it up 1694, and then again from the gas station a mile from my house to my house, but I finished it up.  It was late, so I couldn't make it a brick, but I jumped up a down and ran around the garage a bit when I got back.  I felt OK!  I think a lot of my struggle was mental, with the thought that I was "lost" and getting dehydrated.  At least I did learn a good 60 mile route that I can do again, and I also ordered a seat rail bottle holder, so that I can bring more water with me.   Ryan didn't get why I was so mad when I got back, because I was alive, not hurt, and I got my miles in.  I averaged in the upper 16s, which is pretty good considering I ran out of water and didn't push really hard until I got more and had some burley hills throughout.

So, for this week, I am excited that school is out.  It is great that I can get an extra hour of sleep or so.  Ryan is also back on days, however, he is still working long hours and not really seeing the kids much.  He is switching to a new position which has its own set of problems to take on, so the hours aren't getting reduced any yet.  Unfortunately, the OT $ will go away.  The good news is that we have the Horsey Hundred coming up.  My dad is coming down to watch the kids, and we will be riding through horse country with our friends, Kent and Valerie, from MI.  It will be awesome to ride with them again.  It has been so long!  And in two weeks, we will go to MI to ride with them for the Michigan Mountain Mayhem!  That will be tough, but then I will be pretty much trained for Muncie, and only need to do a couple more rides.  Overall, I shouldn't have any worries, but nothing has come easy here.  Nothing.  It is making it hard to appreciate the joys.  I know this ride on Sat will be hard, but it will be in a fun way.  I can't wait!  I also signed up for the Triceratops Tri in MI, which I have done every year, and will take the kids with me for about half the week.  It will be a fun little vacation.  I am behind on getting Keira's birthday party planned, mostly because there isn't a good date that Ryan is around, and I just don't know that I can do it without him. 

Thanks for reading my ramblings!  I hope you had a great weekend, and are not nearly as stressed out as I am!  I am glad everything turned out OK, but it just seemed like such a process!

Tuesday, May 15, 2012

Its that time of the year again, time to be on Wheels

So, still not much to report in the whole Ryan working 14 hours every weekday, other than it is getting old.  Fast.  I am super tired all the time, but I am still getting most of my workouts completed, but the house has gone to the kids.  Toys everywhere.  Laundry everywhere.  I read some Yahoo article that seriously grossed me out about how often I should change my sheets (weekly), and nearly puked.  However, I was still too tired to do anything about it for ONE MORE WEEK!  Ugh.  At least I did go and wash EVERYTHING, including the mattress cover, on the super hot super wash setting.  Bad thing is that I haven't done the kids yet.  We are trying to have Soren sleep in underwear tonight, so I am postponing washing the kids stuff until tomorrow.  We might REALLY have to wash the sheets at say, 5am, so I figured waiting on that a day wouldn't kill anyone, especially the dust mites (ewww!).  It was so easy to stay on the kids bedding when they were constantly spitting up and peeing the bed.  Now that they don't, I completely forget to change their sheets! 

Ok, onto what this is really about.  Biking cramming.  Biking is on my mind all the time.  I always feel like I should be biking right now.  I have actually cut back to 3 days of running so that I can do 2 days of biking.  Not sure how I feel about this.  I am trying to go for more quality, so hopefully it will work.  I probably should be doing 3 bike workouts, but getting in ANY has been a struggle.  I picked up my new Landshark kit, which was very exciting too!  The pink matched my bike.  Sorry I am posing with not one, but two lawnmowers here:

Here is how last week went down.  Ryan was working crazy hours and scheduled to be out of town.  I was supposed to bike with a friend 2x last week.  I got babysitters, which is not easy or free, for these two occasions, based on what worked.  I was going to do a new route on Thurs, as well as a long route on Sat afternoon.  Everything is all good.  My friend Alan, from MI, tells me that he will be in town and is riding at 9am on Sat.  OK, but Alan is super fast, and I would only see him at the beginning, and not even the end b/c he planned to do double what I wanted to ride.  I didn't make this a priority.  I pretty much can only eat with Alan.  Then, Wed, my friend calls me and says she can't do either ride.  I get more upset than I should be (meaning Ryan thinks I am being such a girl and stupid for being mad, but he didn't even realize this until Sunday, since he was so busy, and it was the last thing I wanted to whine to him about).  I knew that for Thursday, I could still ride by myself, so that was no big deal.  I'm pretty good about getting things done and not letting drama get in the way of a workout.  I might be really angry, but I won't let it ruin my workout. 

Saturday was another story.  I had no clue of where I needed to go to ride 50 miles.  I had gone through a couple babysitters to get the one for Saturday afternoon, and pulling it ahead didn't initially appear to work so I could ride "with" Alan.  Also, I am not the person who will do a ride with just one other guy and no other people. The fortunate thing is that he was doing a really big group ride, so there would be other people.  It was just so frustrating to have to move everything around.  Then Ryan tells me he wants a babysitter for Sat night so we can see the Avengers when he gets back.  Really?  I thought he was going to need to ride when he got back.  Everything was a mess. 

Thankfully, Ryan decided to NOT go out of town.  I didn't really realize it was optional, but he got out of it.  I moved our sitter from Saturday afternoon to Fri night so we could have a much needed date night.  I got a call from Erin asking about riding (I had left her a VM earlier in the week, but heard nothing, she is tapering for IMTX, so I knew she had a strict plan and wasn't sure if it would mesh with mine).  We couldn't work out a time Friday night because Ryan hadn't worked out his time, but I left her a message to do the 9am ride with Alan.  I watch the movie, which was awesome, and then get home and realize that rockstar Amy is going to be here too from MI!  Uh oh.  Last year, on my first long ride of the year, I met up with Amy and had my rear handed to me.  Seriously, though, Amy is great.   Now I REALLY want to do the ride at 9am.  Leave another message for Erin.  Go to sleep, and then wake up in time to make it to the 9am ride, but still have not heard back from Erin!  What is going on?  I get all ready, and leave with what SHOULD be plenty of time to make it to the ride.  I call Amy from the car to let her know I will be down there.  Alan pipes up that I71 is closed.  WHAT????  Ok, well, I have the navi in the car, and should be able to get there w/o the freeway.  I get down to where I needed to turn to get into the parking lot where the crew was meeting and BAM, the road was blocked off for a charity walk.  ACK!  I should have just asked the guy if I could drive to the parking lot, because at that point (which I didn't realize yet), the ONLY way to the lot was either by bike, or by someone letting me through a barricade.  Needless to say, I missed the ride.  Thankfully, in the frustration of trying to get downtown, I got a message from Erin, who overslept, and needed me to wait for her.  Yea!  It took a little while to meet up and drive to a traffic free location, but we finally made it.  It only took an hour longer than expected to get started.  Oops.  I didn't call Ryan for fear that he wouldn't want me to do my whole route, but I knew what time he was planning on riding, so I figured I would be OK.  Erin took me on an awesome ride through southern Indiana.  It was fabulous.  It was fairly flat, with one big hill.  We did our 50 miles with no real incident, aside from us each losing an item from our bikes over different RR crossings, but nothing big.  We even averaged over 17mph, which was wonderful for me.  Last year, I was averaging 18 consistently, but here, on the terrain, hadn't been able to do that.  It was great to ride and not suffer!  Also, after missing Amy and Alan on the bikes, I did meet up with them for dinner.  That's pretty much the only way I can hang with them!  Eating.  Go me.

Erin and I stopped for a photo op at the Falls of the Ohio.  We were about 30 miles in when we found her boyfriend, who was finishing up leading a practice ride for Bike to Beat Cancer.  He took this for us:

Also, in other news, I took Keira to her first ever roller skating party!  I am happy to say that we all lived, nothing was broken, and the kids didn't take me out.  Honestly, I was a little scared that I would suffer a season ending injury at the rollerdome.  Thankfully, we are all OK.  My wrists hurt from holding up the kids, but otherwise, we are fine.

Up for this weekend, more cycling.  I switched around the days I am going workouts to accomodate more biking and the fact that by dropping one day of running, I ended up running 3 days in a row, with 4 days off.  That doesn't seem right.  So, I am going to try running MWF, swimming TWTh (for this week, due to Keira's year end, but I plan to try TWF next week), and biking Th and Sat, with Sunday a rest day.  I am planning to do core 2x, but haven't figured out which days to do it.  I did it on Monday already, and just need to do it probably on Friday?  I don't know.  Keira has a school party on Friday, and Field Day on Thurs.  I was going to go to both, but I guess they don't want all the parents there on Field day.  I am totally sending her to school on Thurs in her Ironman shirt.  I wonder what Big Daddy Diesel will think of that.  Gun to a knife fight perhaps?  It will probably shock her gym teacher, since usually she wears dresses every day, and NEVER wears souvenir type tees to school.  I am bribing her with a new dress to do it.  She might wear it with a skort, though!  At any rate, it will be my turn to take the afternoon ride schedule.  I have a class to take in the morning, followed by a birthday party for Keira to attend.  Ryan will have all morning to get his ride in, and I will have the kids.  I am bringing them to my class.  That will be awesome, but it is crunch time for us, we have two HUGE rides coming up.  Ryan has the century of the Horsey Hundred in less than 2 weeks, and then 2 weeks from that, he has the Michigan Mountain Mayhem which is 200K with 10,000ft of climbing.  Ugh.  I am going along on both rides, but am doing the 75 miles and the 100K, respectively.  I WILL kill it on the bike at Muncie!

Thanks for reading this super long post with lots of ramblings!

Thursday, May 10, 2012

So not ready for Sandal Season!

I felt like I needed a lighter post after the last one that was all doom and gloom.  There will be an end to these hours at some point, and I am just going to have to accept that I need to just do this on my own.  I had a babysitter come over today, and Ryan has decided to skip going out of town this weekend, since it is Mother's Day, and we want to go on a much needed date.  He also needs to train, as do I, so I can use my babysitter for Sat for a date and not riding.  Whoo Hoo!  It is still hard, but it is what it is, so I need to just deal with it.

Hopefully this doesn't gross anyone out too bad, but, my feet look terrible! 

It has been almost a month since the Boston Marathon, and I still have 1 black toenail and 3 missing.  Ugh.  I was really worried that they wouldn't grow back, but there is the tinest growth on two of them.  Hopefully the last one will catch up.   They didn't get much worse by running the Derby Mini, but let me tell you, attending the actual Derby was murder on my feet.  I got a bunch new blisters and my ankles are sore.  I forgot my flip flops in the car.  Conversely, I got to the gym today and I realized that in addition to the running shoes I wore, I had 2 pairs of expensive Chaco brand flip flops plus crocs. 

We clean up pretty nice, don't we?

Wednesday, May 9, 2012

I'm not depressed, this just sucks!

So, I think I may have alluded to how unhappy I am right now.  It isn't really about my race times, although those don't help the situation.  I couldn't control the weather in Boston, and the fact that I had unrealistic expectations about the mini were annoying.  I just went through today wanting my old life back!  I mean, don't get me wrong, being in KY has its good points, and there was a lot of crap I dealt with in MI, but right about now, I am having a hard time dealing with it.  I am hesitant to see a therapist about it because really, all they are going to do is just help me cope with it, and I don't want to pay money for that right now and feeling clinically depressed or anxious is just going to make me more depressed and anxious.  Here's the deal.  Ryan works ALL THE TIME.  I hang out with the kids ALL THE TIME.  I miss Ryan. He can't work out like he likes to, I feel guilty that I can do more than he can because I have the free time, however, I also miss my friends in MI that supported me and had loftier goals that I did, so there was always someone doing more than me that I could just tag along with for part way.  I don't have that here.  I have thought of a few ways to get this off my chest, and I think a pros cons list might be the best way.  At least, hopefully I will feel better, and maybe seeing it will help me make some changes that can make things a bit better.

Things I Like About Kentucky                               Things I like About MI

Chick Fil A                                                              Noodles
Graeters                                                                    Pew Wei
                                                                                  Baha Fresh

Huge house with awesome neighbors                      Condo was in close proximity to EVERYTHING
Get better gas mileage on car                                  Did not use much gas at all
Huge Tri club with all sorts of events                     Small tri club where I knew everyone
Lots of socials                                                         Lots of kid friendly events
Really close to church                                             Timing of church activties worked better
Hilly terrain                                                             Kensington/Island Lake w/ miles of SAFE path

It's been a year since the back and forth started.  I have not had a good race since we closed on this house.  In fact, the day we got the keys, I raced and had almost a personal worst and nearly DNS and a pukie.  I am just tired and worn out from tending the kids all day without Ryan.  I have to wake up so much earlier than I did last year year.  I am thankful for this house that is worth the value of our mortgage, but some days, I just wonder, was it worth it?  I can't say we came here for the money, but I can say we came here for the security.  We were in a precarious financial situation where our home value had dropped to less than 1/3 of the purchase price, and we could not sell it.  If we had been forced to sell the house on our own, we could not have done it without foreclosure.  We are also in a situation where Ryan is NOT ALLOWED to leave the company due to the relocation money we received, so his job is very safe.  Also, if we had to sell our home today, we could easily pay off the mortgage with the sale price.  I know that I am very blessed with my family, my health, and this home, but it is just so hard with Ryan's hours!  He is gone anywhere from 13-14 hours, every weekday.  It gets really old.  i miss him.  I miss going to Maybury as a family after he would get off work.  I miss mountain biking.  I miss having friends training for the same events that I am and willing to push me.  I don't really have that now.  I feel like I have to do it all on my own.  I like to think of myself as a strong, motivated person, but I am just sort of at my limit.  I really hope we are nearing the end of this cycle in Ryan's work where things will go back to normal.  They should, it is just a matter of time.    I have a couple of friends I can train with, but their schedules don't mesh well with mine.  I had 2 rides lined up with friends this week, and they both fell through.  Thankfully, I can do the one by myself, and the other, as long as my babysitter is still on (who isn't answering my calls!!!), I can do the other by myself.  I need to have some athletes around here give me a bit more support, or I doubt I will be wearing the new club's kit for anything other than workouts.  

Thanks for reading.  I needed to get that out there.