Differences between men and women

It took me a while to think of a good title.  I have been whining a lot, so I thought about trying to incorporate that into the title, but I worried that everyone was sick of my whining, and wouldn't want to read it.  At any rate, last week seemed so emotional for me, yet not at all for Ryan.  And really, everything that needed to get done got done, so looking back, I don't know why I was so upset, but I was.  Pretty much that is how Ryan and I are different that way, I guess.

So this is what went down.  Thursday was a big day, and it was supposed to be even bigger.  Keira had her first FIELD DAY!  Whoo Hoo!  I had worked around the volunteer process to be able to attend.  They did not want parents to just be hanging out watching field day, but instead, signed up to work at a set station.  Well, this just didn't sound fun to most of the kindergarted moms, so we arranged to volunteer for her teacher, and help ferry the kids from station to station.  I got there early, to help bring the kids out, which was a good call, because they sent moms that didn't arrive with the class to the gym to be redistributed.  Anyway, it was chilly, so I had my Boston jacket on, and Keira had her Ironman shirt on, so pretty much no one messed with me.  In fact, between when Keira left our house and field day started, she came down with pink eye!  Oh no!  I asked if I needed to take her home before field day, and she burst into tears.  We ended up letting her stay and play. 

I did have to pick her up shortly after, though.  I squeezed in a quick swim, and then I had just gotten off the freeway to go to the grocery store and I got the call.  Thankfully, I was able to get her in to see the dr right away, and started her on drops so she could go back to school the next day.  Unfortunately, I could not have anyone watch her that evening so that I could ride.  I rode on the trainer, and then colored my hair.  I didn't really blow it out afterwards, so I wasn't really sure of the color when I went to bed.

Well, Friday morning started off being emotional.  It was Keira's last day as a kindergartener!  I was able to go into school to attend her class party, which was fun.  She is so excited about being a first grader!  They had a derby themed party, and she enjoyed it.  I can't believe she got that old!

Also, I was able to assess my hair color.  I think I went too conservative on the color.  While I don't dislike it, I don't love it, and this time around, it didn't even do the trick of coloring the gray!  I had wanted to go a bit lighter, with it being summer, and I just didn't get the gray coverage I wanted.  Also, it is pretty much the same color all over, almost lighter at the roots and darker at the ends, which looks weird to me, but it is really just because the color is so flat.  Will I get it fixed?  Probably not, because I am sure the chlorine will do a number on it in due time, but I will not get that color again.  It seemed like a waste of time that I could have been on the trainer more or sleeping more.  Then, right before Keira comes home, I get the email that I was waitlisted for Team Aquaphor.  I was a bit confused by this.  Usually they renew everyone from the previous year if you did all your requirements, so I was really confused.  I spent way too much time on f/b trying to figure out who all was on and who wasn't, and we couldn't come up with anything.  Signed contracts are due on the 25th, with the wait-listed people being notified on the 30th.  I doubt I will get picked.  There are a lot of people that seem more qualified to me that didn't get picked ahead of me.  Cristina got picked, but Barry, a man who had been with Aquaphor for several years did not.  It is really confusing.  I know that there are not a lot of benefits to being on an Active.com team, because you don't get a lot from them, it is still really fun to be part of their team.  It is what you make it.  Thankfully, I am still part of the f/b group that was formed last year, so I still have those connections I made.  It still hurt to be rejected, though.

Ryan and I had discussed our ride plans, and I had the afternoon shift for Saturday.  I had a training class and a birthday party to take the kids to in the morning, and would ride then, with this same friend who has been cancelling on me.  I had been looking forward to this ride all week, because I wanted to get out and get in some miles, as well as figure out a route.  Well, jokingly, I told Ryan that my Saturday plans were to be stood up, and then sure enough, I got a call Friday night that I was on my own for a 50-60mile ride, because this person was going to ride with someone else on Sunday, and I can't ride on Sundays.  I have made all of my new friends here aware of that.  I pretty much had an anxiety attack.  It was like the world was ending.  I felt so rejected!  I didn't want to go to my training class with the kids in the morning, because it was going to be awful having them there, but I didn't want Ryan to skip his ride to watch them, because then I couldn't ride in the afternoon if he did.  I was super overwhelmed with how busy the day would be- training, birthday party, and then ride.  Would I have the energy to ride after this?  Would I get lost?  Would I be able to get anything out of my training with the kids there?  I felt like garbage, but got online, and mapped out a route.  I wasn't really sure how long it was, and figured I would just do multiple loops of 2 areas until I got to 50 or so.

The training class was terribly boring, and overwhelming in its own sense.  I didn't let that bother me, though.  The kids were loud at the beginning, but one of the other husbands came to watch his kids and mine in the gym after about the first hour, and then Ryan finished his ride a lot earlier than I expected (because he started at the crack of dawn!), and was able to get the kids and take them to the birthday party for me.  The training class ended a little early, so I wasn't that late to go to the birthday party with the kids.  It was a pool party, so Ryan stayed and swam with Soren.  It was fun, and things were going pretty well.  It wasn't nearly as bad as I thought it would be.   

I got home and ready for my ride, and it went as planned for about the first 15 miles, until I missed a turn, and ended up heading downtown instead of back towards my house.  Not a big deal, since I knew I needed extra miles, and this was a nice section of flat road.  It was busy, but I wasn't the only bike out there, so I didn't feel terrible for being out there taking up space on the road.  I stopped at the gas station at the intersection where my friends from MI stay when they come here to train to turn around.  In hindsight, I should have refilled my bottles here, at mile 18ish.  I only have room on my frame for one bottle plus my aero drink, and it was hot.  I turned around, and got back to where I should have turned, and continued as planned.  I rode another section of familiar road, and planned to link it back  (instead of riding out and back, like I usually do because I am unadventurous), making a figure eight with my loops, but was riding along, and ran out of water, around mile 40.  Ugh.  I was on a major road, but there were no businesses!  Ack!  I kept hoping for a gas station, and there were none to be found!  I saw a small general store, but it was closed!  Panic started to set in.  I finally found a gas station at mile 45.  I wasn't sure if I had missed my turn either, because it felt like I had been riding for a long time, but since it was an intersection I had already been through today, just from the other direction, I thought I should recognize it.  I was so hot and thirsty, though, that I had no idea anymore.  I considered calling Ryan, but I still had miles I wanted to do, and so I just figured that I would ask at the gas station if I had passed it or not, and then if I got to 60 miles and wasn't home, I would just call Ryan and have him get me.  No shame in that, right?  Well, the guys at the gas station told me that I DID pass my turn, so I rode back the way I came looking for it.  I felt a ton better now that I had refilled my bottles and had a gu.  I kept looking and looking for the turn, and couldn't find it!  I finally came back to the road where I turned onto this street, and figured I would just suck it up and go home that way.  I knew it went to home.  I also knew it went up this huge hill that goes on forever.  Those of you familiar with the IMKY course ride this hill on 1694.  The route I had planned took me from 329 to 42, on 1694, and I wanted to take 42 back to 329, like a triangle, but instead, had to just turn around and go back up.  It think it is a lot easier going from 329 to 42 than it is the other way, and I had hoped to take 42 to 329 to come back home.  At any rate, I got to that intersection with 50 miles, and knew I was less than 10 miles home.  Whew.  I knew I could do this, and I knew it would be ugly.  Tht was not the ideal way to finish the ride, but I would get stronger for it.  Right?  In my head I just kept letting my anger at being out here on my own fuel me to get up those hills.  I had to granny gear it up 1694, and then again from the gas station a mile from my house to my house, but I finished it up.  It was late, so I couldn't make it a brick, but I jumped up a down and ran around the garage a bit when I got back.  I felt OK!  I think a lot of my struggle was mental, with the thought that I was "lost" and getting dehydrated.  At least I did learn a good 60 mile route that I can do again, and I also ordered a seat rail bottle holder, so that I can bring more water with me.   Ryan didn't get why I was so mad when I got back, because I was alive, not hurt, and I got my miles in.  I averaged in the upper 16s, which is pretty good considering I ran out of water and didn't push really hard until I got more and had some burley hills throughout.

So, for this week, I am excited that school is out.  It is great that I can get an extra hour of sleep or so.  Ryan is also back on days, however, he is still working long hours and not really seeing the kids much.  He is switching to a new position which has its own set of problems to take on, so the hours aren't getting reduced any yet.  Unfortunately, the OT $ will go away.  The good news is that we have the Horsey Hundred coming up.  My dad is coming down to watch the kids, and we will be riding through horse country with our friends, Kent and Valerie, from MI.  It will be awesome to ride with them again.  It has been so long!  And in two weeks, we will go to MI to ride with them for the Michigan Mountain Mayhem!  That will be tough, but then I will be pretty much trained for Muncie, and only need to do a couple more rides.  Overall, I shouldn't have any worries, but nothing has come easy here.  Nothing.  It is making it hard to appreciate the joys.  I know this ride on Sat will be hard, but it will be in a fun way.  I can't wait!  I also signed up for the Triceratops Tri in MI, which I have done every year, and will take the kids with me for about half the week.  It will be a fun little vacation.  I am behind on getting Keira's birthday party planned, mostly because there isn't a good date that Ryan is around, and I just don't know that I can do it without him. 

Thanks for reading my ramblings!  I hope you had a great weekend, and are not nearly as stressed out as I am!  I am glad everything turned out OK, but it just seemed like such a process!